SeaKnots

Burial at sea

Chrisy and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.

Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.

After a while Chrisy says, 'Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?' Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, "nope, not yet Chrisy". So they row a little farther....

Again Chrisy asks Barbie, 'Do you think we're out far enough now?

Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest."

So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Chrisy is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface gasping for breath.

'Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?'

"Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel."

Views: 102

Comment

You need to be a member of SeaKnots to add comments!

Join SeaKnots

Comment by ___/)ances With Sails on March 28, 2011 at 10:39pm
blonde sits on a plane next to a lawyer. th lawyer insists on th blonde playin a game of intelligence for money.  he says, "i'll ask ye a question. if ye cant answer it, ye give me $5.  then you ask me a question and if i cant answer it, i'll pay you $50.00."  she says "o.k."  so he first asks, "how far is th earth from th nearest sun?" she dont say a word and hands him $5.  th lawyer then says, "yer turn."  She then asks him, "what goes up a hill with 3 legs, and comes down a hill with 4 legs?"  th lawyer, is stumped.  he digs around on his laptop for about an hour.  he gives up with that and places an air-to-ground call trying to get th answer.  he finally gives up completely and hands th blonde $50.00 to which she sticks in her purse.  th lawyer, sat there fer a second. "so, whats th answer to yer question?",he asked.  th blonde looked at th lawyer silently for a bit, then handed him $5.
Comment by Steve Knight on August 17, 2010 at 11:30pm
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
Comment by Steve Knight on August 17, 2010 at 11:26pm
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
Comment by Steve Knight on August 17, 2010 at 11:12pm
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
Comment by Steve Knight on August 17, 2010 at 11:12pm
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
Comment by Steve Knight on July 24, 2010 at 6:29pm
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters
a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall .
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's
no paper on this side either!"
Comment by Banana Wind on July 22, 2010 at 5:29pm
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, "Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
Comment by Steve Knight on July 19, 2010 at 12:14pm
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O' Grady after his Sunday
morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, " So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news . My
husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary,
did he have any last requests?"
S he says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
Comment by Steve Knight on July 18, 2010 at 12:20pm
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've
somethin' to tell ya".
" Of course you can come in, you're always welcome,
Tim. But where's my husband?"
" That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
" I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead
and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
" It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat Of
Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth,
Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
Comment by Steve Knight on July 17, 2010 at 8:53pm
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just
been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised
and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
" That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that
to you, he must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and
a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended
yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
" That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty
it was, but useless in a fight."

Latest Activity

Mike Brown replied to Wayne's discussion Jammed Electric Cabin Top Winch in the group Beneteau 40 & 43
"There's no circling on the 40/43 winches. It's simply a screw off collar. WD40 and a heavier hammer should get the job done."
Jun 12
Bruce Bogdanoff replied to Wayne's discussion Jammed Electric Cabin Top Winch in the group Beneteau 40 & 43
"Mike is correct. The is a vertical pin in the middle of the winch handle hole that pushed down and disengages the electric motor on the winch. Also, on my Oceanis 45, there is a circlip that holds the top on. I don't remember if the 40 electric…"
Jun 12
Wayne replied to Wayne's discussion Jammed Electric Cabin Top Winch in the group Beneteau 40 & 43
"Thanks Mike. I did use a light hammer but I do have heavier ones at work and I did use WD40. As for a disengagement pin, I didn't see one when I looked down in the top of the winch. I did see a small circular pattern in the bottom that I…"
Jun 12
Frank & Donna left a comment for Mike Brown
"Thanks Mike, however I have tightened both attachments and if you grab the track in the middle you can move it side to side making the noise. I took it apart, slid the track forward to add tape to both side of the boom, than careful slid the track…"
Jun 12
Mike Brown left a comment for Frank & Donna
"Frank your comment didn't show up in the discussions on the 40/43 site. It's simply a comment on your page. Not sure if others will see it. For what it's worth I don't have the problem on our boat. There are two pieces of…"
Jun 11
Mike Brown replied to Wayne's discussion Jammed Electric Cabin Top Winch in the group Beneteau 40 & 43
"I can't imagine anything in the winch top that would bend. Other than the electric drive and a disengagement pin that activates when the winch handle is inserted the winch is the same as the others. It sounds like the collar is jammed due to…"
Jun 11
Wayne added a discussion to the group Beneteau 40 & 43
Thumbnail

Jammed Electric Cabin Top Winch

Took care of the lint build up on the fridge condensers and the leaky shower sump this weekend. Then went to the electric cabin top winch to disassemble, clean and lube only to find the top cap wouldn't unscrew. It should have by light tapping with a screwdriver but to no avail.So I stepped it up a notch with a brass drift and screwdriver and again, no go. I then tried a steel drift and the cap never moved in the slightest. It is as if it was secured with permanent Lock Tite.Now when I say its…See More
Jun 11
Frank & Donna commented on CAN DRAC's group Beneteau 40 & 43
"I'm having a knocking from the boom while sailing. The track on top of the boom is loose, but it can't be tightened any further. Has anyone else had this problem, if so has anyone found a solution"
Jun 11
ADVERTISE ON SEAKNOTS CONTACT US AT: 
candrac@sailforwater.com

© 2017   Created by CAN DRAC.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service