As I spend my days, two at least, cleaning out my home office, my hands are shaking. I have all this stuff. Stuff I don't know what to do with. Oh, I could spend money, rather borrow money, to buy some shelves to show off my life's collections, or toss, toss, toss, or sell on criag's list, donate to goodwill, or just sit here until as my mom would say until the cows come home.
I know I need to focus, to set a goal for the 2010 year, to plan for my finite future. Maybe it is the reality that at 61 years of age, my fate is smack dab in front of me. I don't want to just roll over, or set myself in a rocking chair. I want to sail around the world. To do so will take precise planning. I need money and expertise. Yipe, that's it, money and expertise.
The expertise I can garner from books, workshops, and chats with those who have gone before me. The money I can get from, selling things on Craig's list, getting out of debt, and earning more than my current salary. It's just hard to relinguish things that have been a part of my life. Take for example, the more than 60 video fitness tapes. I don't even own a video player anymore. So, why keep them. If I hold on to them for twenty more years will their value increase? I don't know, right now they are clutter. Like, the material to make some clothes with that I have had for more than twenty years. Every year at this time I refold the fabric and imagine the jacket or pillow case I can make with the tiger print cotton threads I bought in South Africa.
Oh, I don't know I am so surrounded by papers. Bills, advertisements, unsolicited credit cards, wedding invitations, graduation announcements, christmas cards I wrote and never mailed two years ago are piled up around my computer. My computer, what a joke! There is thelap top I am typing on,the lap top whose battery is dead, and a PC with a nice 20 inch screen that just sits here. The photo printer and the regular color printer, neither of which have been used in 3 or more years are neatly tucked into the cubbies of the beautiful desk I bought for my work at home job I never followed through on. Golly, I'm drowning in all my stuff. Guess I better quit writing about it, and get back to getting rid of it. Make a plan.That's what I need to do. Make a plan and sell all this on Craig's list.
Then, I'll use the money to pay off the bills that have lingered since buying a Timex Ironman watch for each of my six girl crew, my flight home for Thanksgiving, bottom paint for SPRAY, and admittedly things I bought that I don't even remember what they are. I am a mess, my office is a mess. My life is a mess. Gotta' get off this computer, gotta' quit writing junk and get to work. Once this mess is cleaned out I can focus on that solo circumnavigation. It all starts with a clean slate, oops, I mean a clean desk, a clean stack of shelves, and a closet organized with only items pertaining to my next great adventure. Yipe, with only four more days until this year ends, I need to get busy and get out with the old, so I can start with the new. Sorry, for babbling, , , , I'm outta here, til I start anew.
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