Getting her to be a live-aboard or finding one to go cruising.... sourcebooks on how to do it!

[Terri]

Ask and ye shall receive................ http://cruisingresources.com/Cruising_as_a_Couple

[___/)ances With Sails]

when are they ever gonna learn, 'ye cant change people', ive tried twisted arms and only wound up gettin my ass kicked, again and again and again,,,but agree these topic reads would be enlightful. glad someone is offerin some sort of therapy for us single sailors...after logging 500 miles recently (w/crew), i feel i would clone myself before i entrusted anyone (ive got a lotta lettin go to do apparently)...th trip kicked my butt as i tried to do it all, and honestly, i pondered what th hell am i gettin myself into. I am however, and without a doubt, ready to get back out there and finish what i came this far to do, sail on! this new way of life i feel will be no different than my previous ways, one day at a time. this only a fraction of a thought so dont hold me to anything i say. though th more i learn th dumber i get, i am a student for life.

___/)

[Terri]

I agree you can't change someone, but alot of times if you go about something in a different way you can arouse their curiosity & eagerness to learn more .

[___/)ances With Sails]

yeah, and this ive done, but guess i went on about how i need to quit givin up on folks and be a lil more patient. Im a full throttle guy with slow boat dreams...wish me luck with that.

[Terri]

LOL, Can't be full throttle in the beginning with a lady. Most like starting off in low gear. Plus, a cockpit gets very small very quickly. She'll be looking to see how you're behaving on land before she commits to sailing away in a small boat. A very good book I read about a man and a woman cruising is Northern Light. She met him in Sweden and they sailed to the Arctic first then all the way to Antarctica. Not only did they survive it, they made plans for the next cruise. it's a very big leap for a woman...your boat, maybe her life in your hands. Seems like most successful cruising couples have been coupled for quite a while before setting sail. Could be a very long first date. Slow down Cowboy.......... and good luck! P.S. Deborah Shapiro also wrote a book afterwards called Letters from the Sea after her adventure with Rofl, who later became her husband! Awwwwwww....lol

[Terri]

Found this recently and I think is pretty spot on. Might have something to do with most women wanting to sail on a bigger boat and most men prefering her to be in a bikini... : -) .......Although not backed up by rigorous data, there is a fair amount of agreement on the differences between the genders on the factors driving the choice of mates:

Men: want to pick women who can bear many children. The women should be fit, young, have curves, indicating reserves of body fat. Visual appeal is important.

Women: a) want men who can provide for them and protect them and their children during pregnancy and child rearing, and b) have traits, which if expressed in a male offspring will enhance his chances of reproduction.

This is thought to favor women who are young looking, have large breasts and butts. Men should be successful, considered leaders with a lot of resources. In addition they should be tall, and I guess possess a good sense of humor - or whatever traits the woman thinks will help her male offspring reproduce. This mechanism is thought to be one of the reasons why the average height of humans has grown over the centuries.

That's a rather clinical assessment of the factors, but it would certainly lend credence to the idea that visual stimuli for men are a big turn-on. It also lends credence to the "Prince Charming" mythology for women.

Having said that, the discussion of first looking for heart, soul etc, seems like a modern invention used to sell movies.

This is not to say that a long term relationship between a man and a woman cannot have the characteristics of a friendship - in fact, it's probably desirable. But to castigate men for having certain traits while ignoring the analogous traits in women strikes me as sour grapes from someone who has had bad luck. Likewise the same thing is true for men - women will appear to be gold-diggers because this is what their brains are programmed for.

[___/)ances With Sails]

Lord, cant imagine any of th above being a fullfillment to my life. and glad i had sense to escape th rigours of puppy love.


its all about th person, places and things. its about who you are, where you are and th things ye do. as long as ye work hard in early stages of life, life will unfold your way as long as ye dont get stupid and anxious, given yer health is in good status. just head off into life and have faith that yer never alone. loonliness is only sought. minds are terrible things to waste, lol, so be creative w/in. life can get stagnated,,, waiting for mr or ms right LMAO,,,to wait in life is death,,,im hittin th throttle

[Terri]

I totally agree, life is too short. It's just very hard to find someone who shares the sailing dream. I think most women need security and as they get older a moving platform doesn't cut it. Probably a shock to them also. I would imagine doing the whole cruising thing solo would be a very lonely adventure. Must be that hard wiring thing..most need that lil cave somewhere.

[Terri]

Interesting blog by a woman who's a live aboard. http://sailingsimplicity.com/ Maybe the secret is to find one that already is into living aboard. Then you only have to convince her to leave her boat (yikes) for yours! Or if her's is bigger, leave yours! Such dilemmas.