Jealousy, that eenie, meanie, green monster that invades my soul at the sight of certain individuals, consumes way too much energy. As a practicing counselor for 30 years I know that jealousy is simply an emotional response to my own insecurity. It is my belief that I am not good enough coupled with the delusion that someone else is better than me. Simple solutions are to ignore those I am jealous of, reinforce my own knowledge and skill, or just hold my head up high and pretend to be confident despite my seemingly inability to focus on positive thoughts.
In sailing, there are times when jealousy causes an adrenalin rush that motivates me to go beyond my otherwise liazzaire faire approach to practice. Take for instance my sunfish competition. Although I say I will practice at least once or twice a week, I don't. Indeed, my data indicates I usually practice once every other week during our local club's small boat racing. Oh, on occasion, when I think about the possibility of an upcoming women's event or other major coed regatta, I become a Johnny come lately. That is, during the week preceeding a competitive event that I have the opportunity to prove my sailing acumen I start sanding the bottom of the boat, working out twice a day and doing some on the water drills twice before the 'big day.'
It's the jealousy, the thought that some other gal will have her name on top of mine in the final standings that wakes me in the middle of the night. I become enraged with my procrastination. The eenie meanie green monster grows bigger and bigger as the event draws closer. I can't speak to those of whom I am jealous of. Rather, the sight of their face conjures the attention to detail that I need to win. Using the hypnotic technique of anchoring I change my raging jealousy with thoughts of eying the start line, adjusting the outhaul and deciding how far fore or aft to set the gooseneck. It is just that I wish I would get rid of jealousy, and simply concentrate on what I need to do without ever having those blood pressure rising, red faced, feelings that make me wish I were a genie who can make certain beings disappear.
I welcome ideas on dealing with jealousy that have been known to shrink the eenie meanie, green monster into a tidbit of a microscopic organism that when properly dealt with will transform me into the confident sailor I am determined to become.
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